Sunday, July 12, 2009

You Can't Baby Proof A Toilet

            This girl gets into everything! If there’s an obstacle course, she’ll make sure to climb through until she gets stuck. If we leave out a piece of furniture, she’ll make every effort to climb around, over, under, and through. I took her with me shopping for new soccer shorts. I got into the change room and cleared the carpet of all the small plastic pins before setting her down by the cardboard box in the corner. I figured, “Heck, even Celia won’t do much damage to a cardboard box!” I turned and put on the new shorts. When I looked back she’d actually yanked the phone socket out of the wall!
            I said, “Ack! Celia!” and grabbed her hand. The outlet had been installed with one screw into sheetrock, which is why she pulled it out so easily, but I shook my head in shock that after all my apparent “baby-proofing” she’d far surpassed my wildest imaginations.
            As I write this she’s banging some hard toy against the mirror in the front hall. Hold on a sec, I’ve got to go get her.
            Okay, I’m back. So, there I was peeing, and she’s just got to be in the middle of everything, and I didn’t close the door properly so, next thing you know, little baby has joined me in the bathroom.
            “Hi Celia,” I said. “This is the potty. One day you’ll be using this.” I turned my head to look for her. “Celia? Where are you?”
            Suddenly, with certain dread, I looked down between my legs only to see Celia dashing through them and climbing up onto the toilet bowl as I was peeing! “Ahh! Celia!” I did my best to stop the flow and called out, “Michelle! Come quick! Wash Celia’s hands before they go in her mouth!”
            Michelle came rushing in and yanked Celia away, lifted her up to the bathroom sink, and washed Celia’s hands with a vengeance.
            Now as I write Celia has very nearly escaped the house and plummeted down the front steps! I’ve got to go! All for now!

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