When I arrived home Michelle handed the baby to me and said, “You need to feed her and give her a bath before she goes to bed. She’s hungry and filthy.” She waved goodbye and went out the door with her friend. I looked at Celia, who gave me a grin.
“Okay, Sweetheart. Let’s find dinner!”
I rummaged through the fridge and found her some vegetables and tofu, then toasted her some bread with cream cheese. Truth is, I wanted her to eat quickly, so we could go for a run. “Let’s eat!” I said to her excitedly as I plopped two pieces of tofu on her high chair.
Now, I don’t know what was going through her little mind, but within moments she made an utter, complete mess of herself. Food everywhere. On her face. All over her bib. Her shirt. Her pants. The floor. Her hair. Even some on me!
Two minutes into the insane eating fiasco I looked at her, with a huge glob of cream cheese sitting between her nose and upper lip, and felt somewhat shell-shocked as I thought, “What the heck is happening here?”
In all honesty, I think she was purposefully trying to get herself as dirty as possible. Yes, she was hungry and ate a lot, but she was literally rubbing the food everywhere. She would take a fist-full of food and stuff some into her mouth, then, whatever was left in her little fist she’d shake in her hand, rub somewhere, then throw on the floor.
I sat there with an open mouth for awhile. “Is this truly my daughter?” I asked aloud.
When she started to squirm I knew our time in the high chair was limited. I stripped her naked and put her over the kitchen sink to rinse her off. She gurgled happily and gave me a big smile, as if to say, ‘Wasn’t that fun, Dad?” Hmm. Fun for whom?
I seriously hope this frenzied food phase doesn’t last. The first time it’s kind of funny, the second time it’s still endearing, but if she makes a culinary disaster at every meal, I’m sure it will take it’s toll. Yes, I can pick up food off the floor and re-feed it to her (I admit I ended up doing this), but can the washing machine really handle three entire outfits a day? I know she’s a girl, but how many outfits is she supposed to wear in one day, anyway?