Sunday, January 17, 2010

Welcome to Greece

            We were sitting around chatting with a couple of friends on Friday night when one of them said, “People have the most sex in Greece. More than any other country in the world.”
            I turned to Michelle. “We should go to Greece.”
            “What are you trying to say?” Michelle frowned. Then, she cringed. Admittedly, she’s tired, pregnant, emotional and low energy these days. It goes to figure things would peter out a bit.
            Later I told her, “Are you feeling Greek today?”
            She smiled. Maybe it’ll be our little code.
            I told her today, “After we move Celia downstairs to her own room, I’m going to put a map of Greece at our bedroom door and a sign that says, ‘Welcome to Greece.’”
            “Won’t that be too obvious?” she asked.
            “So what!” I grinned. May as well have some fun at making things work. It’s hard to keep up a good relationship while having kids. I feel the drain, and the lack of time to really pursue what I want for myself, let alone for two of us together. We had our first date night since the Christmas holidays on Thursday. It was an hour excursion to the local Ethiopian place. Not too big a deal, but at the same time, it reminded me how important that is. I enjoyed it, even though I was absolutely exhausted. I can’t even begin to imagine how Michelle must feel.
            I know a guy who’s going through a divorce right now. They have two kids. It rips at my heart, seeing that. Marriage can be really tough sometimes, but when you add kids to the picture, it just tears at your defenses.
            I do have to admit that yesterday I got quite annoyed with Michelle. I didn’t like her tone with me one bit. And she wasn’t pleased with me, either. But she’s always quick to apologize, and we got through it pretty harmlessly. Still, in that moment I had a feeling where I could relate to the relationships that crumble in the midst of having kids. Sometimes, it can take its toll on both parents.
            I’m now getting to the point where I think I’m just slightly over-committed – I have more responsibility at work; more travel time away from the family; more hobbies I’ve picked up again, like writing and starting up a men’s group. Things are going well, but I think I’ve got to keep the focus on how important my marriage is.
            That’s why I want to put up the banner. It’ll remind me every time I go upstairs to the bedroom. Keep my priorities straight. Welcome to Greece.

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