Thursday, June 17, 2010

Little Boys Vs. Little Girls

            Here’s one I didn’t plan on. We were sitting on the couch last night and Michelle was changing our darling new baby’s diaper when she said to me, “Ephie. Take a look at this redness under his scrotum.”
            I leaned over to look and the little guy started peeing everywhere. It was a veritable fountain, cascading up and covering his face. Michelle gasped and put a cloth over him. I stared at Joshua’s little face in shock. He seemed totally happy, as if nothing had happened, face covered in pee. “Woah!” I called out.
            In these last couple of years of parenting we’ve never come across this. This is the first significant difference we’ve encountered between raising girls and boys. I hear they even make things called “peepee teepee’s” for just this sort of situation. Who knew?
            Actually, there’s another difference that’s come up as well. My friend called me, asking if I would be okay doing the shopping Friday afternoon for the big sailing trip we’re planning this weekend. I said, “Let’s see. I might be getting my son circumcised that day…”
            I shook my head. What a funny thing to have come out of a guy’s mouth. First, I’ll do some errands, pick up the eggs, and then, oh yes, get my son circumcised.
            In Canada normal doctors don’t do it anymore, so I called a special office, and they said they can fit me in a week from now. Sheesh, so much for getting it done on the eighth day, like good ol’ Jesus. I can’t figure out why they need so much time. The total operation takes only thirty seconds. They book you in for an hour and a half, probably to pat the parents’ backs and tell them it’s all going to be okay.
            Four-hundred-fifty bucks for a thirty second snip-snip. This guy’s making a killing. Maybe I should change professions.

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